I quit my job to help someone start a business. I was careful to try and make sure that no matter what we would at least give it a good effort. We were getting very positive news which made it look like we would be able to go forward and branch out on our own. I didn't know how successful we would be so I really just wanted to get some experience and education from it. For the first time in my life, I would have a job where I wasn't exactly working for someone else. I would have an ownership stake and I would be my own boss. I eventually wanted to be self employed and this was a good way for me to buy some time and get the necessary experience in running a business.
I didn't know how qualified I would be to run a business but it was a risk I was willing to take. If it didn't work out well there, I would still have gained valuable knowledge for the next time I decided to run my own business. So after learning that we had already gotten our first big contract, after our business loan had be approved and scheduled for dispersement, after I had given my previous employer a months notice, after I had told all my family and friends what I was planning to do, after I had prayed repeatedly for this to work out, the day finally came when I was free. This was supposed to be the start of the beginning of a more enjoyable life. I expected some hard times ahead but as long as we tried our best I saw it all as a win.
Well, I had one plan and my partner had another. After I quit, he fell off the face of the planet. Wouldn't answer his phone, wouldn't return my calls, wouldn't return my texts. I'm just left to think, "Is this guy trying to screw me? No, why would he? I've never done anything wrong to him. We were in this together. I'm only trying to help us both out. I'm not trying to screw him. We've talked about this for months and there's so much riding on this. If he's going to screw me I don't know what else I'm going to do. This has to work out."
In the end he did screw me. He would occasionally answer the phone to make more promises about moving forward and actually getting to work but I later find out that he was lying. How are you going to start a business when you've put everything related to it away in storage? How do you just decide to not do something when you get someone else to rely on you and you know they have nothing else to fall back on? What kind of person does that? Why would anyone do that when this person is supposed to be your friend? Not a very good person, or an honest person, or a true friend that's for sure. So in this circumstance, big risk, big failure.
I used to be one of those safety minded, risk averse people. Recently however, I've been really wanting to see big positive changes in my life so I've taken more risks. I've taken these risks after careful thought and deliberation.. and prayer. Even though there is the possibility of loss involved I preferred to think optimistically about my risks. More should I say, I've stepped out in faith. Faith that things would work out well and that God would watch over me and protect me. Faith that God was bringing something good my way.
Taking a leap of faith is scary, terrifying really. I've never been on a trapeze but I imagine I could get the same feeling from flying through the air on a glorified swing with nothing below to separate me from the ground. I've never been locked in a cage with a hungry lion either but there is a similarity in knowing that your life is no longer really in your hands at that moment. It's scary but if you keep doing the same thing, you will keep getting the same results. As much as we would all like to avoid risk, it is necessary to facilitate change.
My risk still hasn't resolved itself yet but I'm trying to pick up the pieces and keep moving forward. Even though that business partner still hasn't returned my calls from months ago I'm working on forgiving him. We will never be friends again but I'm going to forgive him. Honestly, I think, and I hope I'm right, when people screw you over is the time when God really steps in and says, "My child, you have been treated wrongly and I will bless you because of it."
I don't know if you ever listen to Dmx but I love this verse where he says "... I'd hate for you to think I took a loss when all I did was shook it off..." It's not bible scripture but it's words to live by. When you suffer this kind of loss because of someone else just shake it off. There's something bigger than you or that loss out there. Maybe I'll stop being as risky from this point forward and have a more solid backup plan but I still want big rewards so I will still take big risks.
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